This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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