It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
