What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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