I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
