Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
vagina is talking i cant
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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