Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
