Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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