I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
