my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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