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Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
