We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
