WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
