hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
