too bad you live with your parents still
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
