people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
