I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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