It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
