Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize