You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
