How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
