Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
