Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You did what with his pubic hair?
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