Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
