this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I deserve this hangover.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
