so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize