i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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