i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize