I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
where am i from again
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
