I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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