I hate your face
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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