i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
