I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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