i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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