everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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