Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize