Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You ruined the universe
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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