hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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