just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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