Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
