we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize