he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
