he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Welp...herpes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
