I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
