I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
