i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
