just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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