i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
try to milk me bitch
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
