I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
