after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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