I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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