She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
