i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
