I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
