At least make sure they are 18
Why
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
