I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
