woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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