Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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