I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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