I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
no, he came in my armpit
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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