just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
