You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
