He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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