This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh god it's open bar.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
