Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
